I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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