i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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