Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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