Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
