I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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