At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
