i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
