Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
