you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
