thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
