The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
