your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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