He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
