OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
