Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
