You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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