We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
