so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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