What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Enjoy the penises
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
