I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
