she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
meet me or not, i'm out of control
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
