New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So much Jack, so little girl.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
