Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
