I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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