Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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