Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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