I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
