2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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