C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
