Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
