glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you win again, gameday.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
