Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
