I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
