i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Porn is love you can see.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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