marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
