I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize