the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
