I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
