A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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