You really coming over, don't trick.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
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