i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
