I wanna passion pit in your ass
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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