the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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