i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
