I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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