obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
