You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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