sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
