Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
