I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
