he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
