I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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