bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
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What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
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What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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