when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
