You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
