Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
