I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
