oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
