Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
