I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize