She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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