you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Everyone says I win the strip club
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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